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God's Plea For Existence

By Steve Gillman

I am the half-born
clawing my way
out of nothingness
begging you for life

Alone in the darkness
You give me no eyes
Alone in the silence
You give me no ears

I reach for your hand
You recoil in horror
I am your monster-child
abandoned yet again

I become invisible
You refuse my existence
I hunger to be
but you will not feed me

Then you offer love
but it is only obsession
the love of a rapist
for his murdered victim

You call me father
Take me out of hiding
Use me as your weapon
and again I am forgotten

You name me the creator
but what can I create?
when you have usurped all
the powers promised me?

You beg forgiveness?
while offering me none
You push me away
then blame me for my absense

Why cry out my name?
What answers can I give?
when you who create me
have given me no voice

How can I love you?
Do you not know that
There is nothing I can do
Which you have not taught me?

You have put me here
lost in the sky above
a heavenly kingdom
of hatred and fear

Put me in your hearts!
Put me in your lives!
I am your half-born child
dying in the cold void

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